Closing days of the 200's - 50 pounds lost!

I weigh 202.2. Mind you all this began with me at 252. That is amazing to me and the pants I bought last weekend that are size 16 are getting that diaper butt! And yet some of my size 18's are still tight. American fashion is relative. I am doing great, I can honestly say I have not had to ride the porcelin bus for more than 7 days! Wahoo! That means that I am keeping all my nutrients down and that means I have more energy! On Tuesday I had a personal training session with Brock (the jock). I think he might be 22. But I am still sore from it and I need to do what he taught me. I am thinking about doing it once per week to keep me honest and make sure I do not drift off into slouching wierd excercise habits. I am really needing to beef up my muscles because my skin is beginning to sag in the oddest places. I have elphantlike innner thighs. Or I look like a shar-pei... But I am consistently walking about 3 miles almost every day at lunch and that feels great. I can tell I have more energy overall this week. My girl is out of town this weekend on a youth group retreat and I may try and take a hike so I have done something productive for my health this weekend...

Foamies

Something has happened in the last week. I used to get terrible "foamies" any time I ate too fast or if I ate something too dry and most meats, expecially chicken. Now I seem to both be able to eat a little more than I used to and I am able to overcome the foamies instead of needing to go get rid of what my stomach is reacting too. In the past the foamies never ended, my stomach pouch just kept creating more and more gunk trying to get the dry food to pass. Normally our stomachs do this and we don't even know it, it is just a mucus membrane reaction, but when the pouch is so tiny, it fills up with mucus really fast and the only way to stop it is to get rid of the offending item. Anyway, this is all really gross, but it is nice that it is getting easier. I think it is a combination of me finally learning how to eat slowly and gauge properly when I am full, I am also getting better at chewing my food and putting down my fork or spoon between bites.

The emotional stuff is getting interesting. I am starting to get looked at by guys. And it is really unnerving. I have been happily shielded from this, yet secretly longing for it. Now I am a solid size 16, I had to get new pants this week, and I love feeling attractive again. But, I know I am so not ready to deal with someone approaching me to talk to me just because they are attracted to me. Thankfully that has not happened yet.

Jesus is meeting me in all this. I have had to let go of alot of hoeful expectation with the getting skinny idea. If I was only skinny, then I would...fill in the blank. Instead I am doing this for my health and for the Lord's glory, so he gets to decide how to use me for Him!