Sunday, March 28, 2010

End of this blog, beginning of another.

So I'm doing really well physically after a new challenge with wildly fluctuating blood sugars. Me and any sugar have had a love hate relationship for a very long time, and now it kind of makes me drunk... which is not good at all, especially for me. I've not had a drink (other than as accidental sauce ingredients in restaurants) since 1985. SO now I get to have sugar very sparingly and then it takes me a long time to sip on a mocha, or whatever. kinda worth it, and my pancreas is uber happy.

The best news sofar though is that my cholesterol is PERFECT! total - 171/ LDL=67. HDL=77, Tri = 35! BP - 104/63, resting HR = 62. I am in elite athlete territory. And I want to do a sprint triathlon in August...I mean I will! And I'm retiring this blog and starting a new one, for a new year. I'm going on a road trip to the Bay Area and Downieville the 2nd week in April so a road trip is a good place to start. Cheers to all visitors,

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Long time coming

It has been ages since I last posted and on the trip to Cleveland in May I was thrilled to fit into a size 12 pants. Now I am wearing size 8 pants and this week they are baggy. I have hit a place where I fluxuate between size 10 and 8 and I fine with that. I also have reach 100 pounds lost a few times, only to regain 3 or so pounds. Also, just fine. My original goal was to reach 135 pounds, but that may not be realistic. I am now hovering around 152-154, depending on the day. That may be where I stay. I would like to gain some muscle and lose some more middle flab, and firm up there especially, but we shall see. I am now always cold and that is wierd. I've not been focusing on my weight, but I have been enjoying my ease of movements. When I scratch my own back, I still smile, because I can reach. I am still dealing with the emotional eating stuff. I found littel joy in more than the first two bites of Thanksgiving, and that was ok. I approach a plate of food with the same anticipation of satiety and then I am disappointed. Only the Lord truly sates me now and that is a great thing. There really is no sufficient substitute for Jesus, not even close.

I am now looking to what I want to do with this body this winter. Short of running off to Mexico to warm up, I do want to try skiing again. Downhill and XC. I used to love it and I think I could again. The other thing that is new is that I have to protect myself more, from men looking, from getting knocked over in a elevator, from cold. That is weird and I definitly feel more "out there" than ever. Again, the Lord is my protector and I need to let Him be that for me.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Diaper Butt

Ok, so today I am wearing pants that are clearly in the diaper butt zone... Baggy and in need of pinning. This needs to be the last day that I wear them or I need to go to a tailor. I have to go through my clothes tonight to figure out what I can take with me on my trip. I am overwhelmed with all the clothes I have and most of them don't fit anymore! I am off to Cleveland to see my dad, for Mother's Day. He is singing in a concert for Mother's Day and I will see him for the first time since my heart surgery.

I have finally started losing again after over a month stuck at 189. Today I was 184.5!

I got a new book "How not to Look Old" by Charla Krupp. Amazing tips that are working. Like: women over 40 should always wear light pink lipstick, never dark lips as it makes us look older.

I went though tons of clothes tonight and got rid of 2 garbage bags worth. There are gals at my work who are losing weight and are a little bigger than me, so they get new clothes tomorrow. I am finding it weird and oddly hard to part with these clothes that have covered me up for so long. They are clearly way too big, but my head size is still as a fat person. After years of not realizing how fat I was, now I can't wrap my head around a size 14 me. I confess I have had to keep some of my comphy home big girl clothes, because they are like a woobie, security and ok to mow the lawn in. But I did get rid of the oversize daisey dukes, that was just too much gaping!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Reaching 42!

I am celebrating today, quietly at the moment because I am at work. Today is my 42nd birthday and I made it. Each year past 39 is a gift because of surviving heart disease and overcoming a family tradition of dying in the 40's.

Two weeks ago I helped my daughter clean a big house that I used to work in every Saturday. In the past all the vacuuming, scrubbing and stair climbing would reduce me to a puddle of sweat. I did not realize it until the end of the night, but I was not even winded by all that I did, no sweat either. What a joy to know that I was healthier as compared to 3 years ago!! And the next day, I was invigorated, not wiped out by working until 11PM!

I was asked yesterday about my stomach and how it now works. So, I am adding a diagram of what the anatomy of a gastric bypass stomach looks like. It was noticed how little I ate for Easter dinner. The best part of the dinner for me was lentil salad. Beans are my friends lately. They have everything I need: protein, carbs, fiber and soothing to my stomach, not overwhelming.

This Easter was the best one I have had since coming to Christ. I attended a Palm Sunday service, a Good Friday service and then 2 services yesterday. Good Friday was amazing. Quite, somber, dark, and real, causing me to consider the impact of the cross and the weight of it and of my sin. Then I watched the Passion on Saturday, which is so convicting and graphic, but still not as graphic as the truth of what Jesus went through. And scientifically he should have died in the scourging but God allowed him to suffer so much more than a normal human body would have. He allowed himself to outwardly show the effect of our sin and what He bodily took on for us. I was so humbled to a new depth. My favorite part is the love that Mary and Mary Magdalen show when they use the linen cloths given to them by Pilot's wife to mop up Jesus' blood. They treated it as so valuable, because it is, and it was such an act of humility and love for our Lord. Then a sweet sermon at church and a joyful family time both at church and at our Pastor's home. A dear sister in the Lord came to visit me and it was such a blessing. I did not know how much I had missed seeing her beautiful face! Then I went to an evening service that was a massive rejoicing party. Several people came to the Lord right there and I witnessed about 50 people baptized. Some came to Christ and were baptized on the spot. The one that hit me was a young boy about 8 or 9 who was crying openly and it was clearly that his soft heart had been touched and he was convicted and ready. The whole place cheered loudly when he came out of the water!

Praise the Lord. My grave clothes (fat) are outwardly coming off, and like Lazarus, I needed Jesus' to help take them off. I am not as emotionally numb as I was and because of that Jesus is reaching deeper into my life, because He made it so I can let Him. I asked Him for this long ago. I prayed: "Jesus, please help me to lose the weight forever so I am no longer hindered and I can do Your will."

Monday, April 6, 2009

Shifting paradymes

I have been sort of comforted by knowing that no one is listening to me on this blog, but I think that should change as that is why I have it right? to communicate?

I am doing well, though I really need to get more excercise as I feel weak and tired a lot lately. I am walking today at work with a friend who has lost 120 pounds on her own so far. For all my friends not wanting to do the weight loss surgery, my work friend goes to a nurse practitioner in Kirkland who has helped her devise a nutrition program that has worked. The Nurse practitioner is: Suzan Watanabe 425-899-5600

I have been hovering around 190 - 192 for 3 weeks. Like when I hovered around 199 for a few weeks, but this weekend I was 186! and this morning 188, so I am seeing that my actual daily weight has so much to do with hormones and water and what time of day it is. Those factors were never a big deal when I was completly in denial about my weight, and in reality those factors really aren't a big deal now either, but I need to be aware so I don't get discouraged.

I am in a size 14 pant, which for me is really weird, and it is weird for my daughter too as that is her size. I have not been this size since about 1996 when I had crept back up from a size 8 for about 6 months and at 165. That was when I ate only protein and I walked 5 miles a day. Then I injured my back and that was the beginning of the balloonJen. I was a size 14 for years after I had Jess, so that was my "normal" for a really long time.

The other completly weird thing for me is that men are looking at me again and it is sort of terrifying. I love it at the same time, but it is scary as I am so prone to wander. “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” I am repeating this like a mantra lately. It places me back in Christ's care.

My flesh wants to go on or eharmony or some other hunt-for-men site to "put myself out there" but I also know that I am so skittish and not equipped to discern a good man. So, I have to trust that Jesus will properly prick the heart of a man that he has chosen for me. That man will not need any internet site to find me because Jesus has so many other resources available to Him that are far beyond my comprehension. Because of my past, I need to steer clear of internet dating of any kind.

The byproduct of getting my body to a place where I have more energy and my feet don't hurt all the time and I am not some heart and pancreas time bomb waiting to go off as I ignore all the crap I stuff in my mouth is that I am looking better than I have in a long time, but I still only see the chicken wings under my arms and the "apron" of skin that is hanging over my c-section scar. I am still surprised when I wash my face because I can feel my bones more. I am getting all my 30's wrinkles all at once though and that is truly weird. I look like my dad because I have all 35 of his laugh lines!

I need to get my cholesterol checked again too, but first I need a month of walking under my belt so I can have my numbers at their very best! Walking brings down LDLs and Triglycerides (the bad guys) and brings up HDLs (good guys).

If you are reading this blog I challenge you to know your numbers!

What is your:
-Cholesterol (HDL, LDL and Triglycerides) my last check was normal HDL-56 LDL-91 Tri-85
-Blood Pressure (anything above an average of 110/70 is considered not safe, I was at 130 /85 just before open heart surgery, mine these days is 112/65)
-Blood Glucose (fasting - anything hovering near 100 is pre diabetes - over is diabetic. Before my weight loss surgery I was always at 101 or so, now I am at about 85)
-Body Mass Index (BMI - mine was 43 just before weight loss surgery - clinically obese, Now I am at 31)
-Waist circumference
-Excercise amount each week

If you know your numbers, post them as a reply! (You know I mean YOU!)

Monday, March 2, 2009

At 199!!

Wow, It took a really long time for me to lose these last 3 pounds. This week I got stuck at about 202 for most of the week. I am realizing that I need to be really careful about what I eat now. I am so excited to be below 200 for the first time in ages!! yea!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Closing days of the 200's - 50 pounds lost!

I weigh 202.2. Mind you all this began with me at 252. That is amazing to me and the pants I bought last weekend that are size 16 are getting that diaper butt! And yet some of my size 18's are still tight. American fashion is relative. I am doing great, I can honestly say I have not had to ride the porcelin bus for more than 7 days! Wahoo! That means that I am keeping all my nutrients down and that means I have more energy! On Tuesday I had a personal training session with Brock (the jock). I think he might be 22. But I am still sore from it and I need to do what he taught me. I am thinking about doing it once per week to keep me honest and make sure I do not drift off into slouching wierd excercise habits. I am really needing to beef up my muscles because my skin is beginning to sag in the oddest places. I have elphantlike innner thighs. Or I look like a shar-pei... But I am consistently walking about 3 miles almost every day at lunch and that feels great. I can tell I have more energy overall this week. My girl is out of town this weekend on a youth group retreat and I may try and take a hike so I have done something productive for my health this weekend...