Shifting paradymes

I have been sort of comforted by knowing that no one is listening to me on this blog, but I think that should change as that is why I have it right? to communicate?

I am doing well, though I really need to get more excercise as I feel weak and tired a lot lately. I am walking today at work with a friend who has lost 120 pounds on her own so far. For all my friends not wanting to do the weight loss surgery, my work friend goes to a nurse practitioner in Kirkland who has helped her devise a nutrition program that has worked. The Nurse practitioner is: Suzan Watanabe 425-899-5600

I have been hovering around 190 - 192 for 3 weeks. Like when I hovered around 199 for a few weeks, but this weekend I was 186! and this morning 188, so I am seeing that my actual daily weight has so much to do with hormones and water and what time of day it is. Those factors were never a big deal when I was completly in denial about my weight, and in reality those factors really aren't a big deal now either, but I need to be aware so I don't get discouraged.

I am in a size 14 pant, which for me is really weird, and it is weird for my daughter too as that is her size. I have not been this size since about 1996 when I had crept back up from a size 8 for about 6 months and at 165. That was when I ate only protein and I walked 5 miles a day. Then I injured my back and that was the beginning of the balloonJen. I was a size 14 for years after I had Jess, so that was my "normal" for a really long time.

The other completly weird thing for me is that men are looking at me again and it is sort of terrifying. I love it at the same time, but it is scary as I am so prone to wander. “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ, that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” I am repeating this like a mantra lately. It places me back in Christ's care.

My flesh wants to go on Match.com or eharmony or some other hunt-for-men site to "put myself out there" but I also know that I am so skittish and not equipped to discern a good man. So, I have to trust that Jesus will properly prick the heart of a man that he has chosen for me. That man will not need any internet site to find me because Jesus has so many other resources available to Him that are far beyond my comprehension. Because of my past, I need to steer clear of internet dating of any kind.

The byproduct of getting my body to a place where I have more energy and my feet don't hurt all the time and I am not some heart and pancreas time bomb waiting to go off as I ignore all the crap I stuff in my mouth is that I am looking better than I have in a long time, but I still only see the chicken wings under my arms and the "apron" of skin that is hanging over my c-section scar. I am still surprised when I wash my face because I can feel my bones more. I am getting all my 30's wrinkles all at once though and that is truly weird. I look like my dad because I have all 35 of his laugh lines!

I need to get my cholesterol checked again too, but first I need a month of walking under my belt so I can have my numbers at their very best! Walking brings down LDLs and Triglycerides (the bad guys) and brings up HDLs (good guys).

If you are reading this blog I challenge you to know your numbers! http://www.goredforwomen.org/know_your_numbers.aspx

What is your:
-Cholesterol (HDL, LDL and Triglycerides) my last check was normal HDL-56 LDL-91 Tri-85
-Blood Pressure (anything above an average of 110/70 is considered not safe, I was at 130 /85 just before open heart surgery, mine these days is 112/65)
-Blood Glucose (fasting - anything hovering near 100 is pre diabetes - over is diabetic. Before my weight loss surgery I was always at 101 or so, now I am at about 85)
-Body Mass Index (BMI - mine was 43 just before weight loss surgery - clinically obese, Now I am at 31)
-Waist circumference
-Excercise amount each week

If you know your numbers, post them as a reply! (You know I mean YOU!)